Divine Assistance Read online

  She inclined her head to acknowledge her foe’s suicidal bravery. “I will admit, foolish mortal, that you are courageous and bold. However, do you really believe that you can defeat me? I am a god.”

  Zephyra gathered her divine energies, and the wind stirred and hastened to answer her call. A stiff breeze sprang up, and the trees of the forest swayed back and forth as the breeze built into a sharp, biting gale. Little eddies and currents of wind shifted the leaves at her feet, as well as her long, pale hair. Her eyes, the same piercing blue as a clear, spring sky, glowed with divine might. Let this mortal witness her power and despair at the futility of opposing her!

  “I will give you until the count of five to surrender, mortal. Consider my offer a reward for your courage.”

  “One.” Her opponent stared back at her, not the least bit impressed. He might even have puffed out his cheeks in a display of complete disregard.

  “Two.” Her opponent reached up to scratch the back of his head before yawning.

  “Three!” Her eye twitched in aggravation, but her foe simply gave her a lazy grin before flopping onto his back. Such audacity!

  “Four!” She was all but screeching now, but her opponent seemed determined to ignore her. Instead, he took the time to study a leaf that had fallen onto his forehead.

  “Five!” Her shout carried all the force of a hurricane, but all her opponent did was turn his head and wave at her as though he were asking her to be quiet. Evidently, he was more interested in enjoying a quick nap than accepting her superiority. Such insolence!

  There was a long pause as she waited to see if her opponent would hold his nerve and call her bluff. She scowled. Oh, he was cunning, very cunning indeed. Divine law forbade her from simply smiting whomever she wanted. Well, she could, but there would be consequences, especially since she wasn’t yet considered an adult amongst the gods. She was, in the eyes of divine law, a goddess in training, which meant that she had to abide by much stricter rules than someone like her father. But this was too much. This mortal had dared to defy her. Never mind the consequences, he would pay for his disrespect. It was time to show him what she was capable of. He might not regret his foolishness now, but he would most certainly regret his foolishness when she sent him to the afterlife.

  “Very well, mortal. If this is how you want to do things…” Zephyra raised both of her hands. The winds gathered around her and took on unnatural sharpness. The blades of wind she could throw were capable of shredding through dozens of trees like they were made of paper. This puny mortal wouldn’t stand a chance. “Think of this as your punishment for defying me –”

  Someone grabbed her wrist.

  The gloved hand did not grip tightly, but the divine power she’d gathered vanished like smoke on the breeze. A great shiver ran through her, and a bone-deep chill permeated her entire body. She knew whom that gloved hand belonged to. No, that wasn’t quite right. She didn’t recognise that gloved hand, but she did recognise the long, black sleeve the glove vanished into. She looked to the side, and there he was, eyes as inscrutable and unfathomable as ever.

  Death.

  Zephyra made a sound that was somewhere between a squawk and a screech before promptly beginning to choke on her own saliva. As she coughed and hacked – gods didn’t need to breathe to live, but choking on her own saliva was still painful and humiliating – she was vaguely aware of Death letting go of her wrist to rub soothing circles on her back as she did her best to avoid humiliating herself any further. If she vomited on his shoes, she would never be able to show her face amongst the gods again. When she had finally regained her bearings, she did her best to appear as something other than completely terrified or totally embarrassed. Not even the divine language of the gods had a word for how badly she failed.

  This was Death, one of the Greater Gods, wielder of cosmic energies and powers far beyond even her comprehension. He was death incarnate, the ender of all things, and the ruler of the afterlife and all that it contained. Her father had fought alongside him many times against the Void Born, and he had always praised Death’s prowess in battle. The Greater God never failed to leave battlefields piled high with the bodies of his enemies. It was said that Death could kill with nothing more than a glance, that a mere look could reduce even a god’s mind to mush, and that a simple touch –

  Oh, crap! He’d touched her! Sure, he’d been wearing gloves, but was she going to die? Was her hand going to fall off? What if she went bald? She was too young to go bald! She’d have to wear a hat, and her sisters would make fun of her –

  “Stop.” Death held up one hand as she opened her mouth to either beg for mercy or blurt out a question. “You aren’t going to die, your hand is not going to fall off, and you will definitely not go bald, at least, not because of me.”

  What? Had he somehow read her mind without her noticing? Was his power so vast that he could simply reach into the mind of another god and –

  Death sighed wearily. “No, I did not read your mind, but you’d be surprised by how often I get asked the same questions.” He shook his head. “I still don’t know why so many other gods think that touching me will make them go bald. It doesn’t make any sense. I’m the god of death, not baldness, although I suppose you could think of baldness as the death of hair.”

  “Oh.” Zephyra tried to steady her breathing. She really, really, really would have loved to be anywhere but here. Would she be able to get away if she ran? She was fast, but he was Death. Could anyone outrun Death?

  “Try to control your breathing. You’ll hyperventilate if you aren’t careful, and even if gods can’t suffocate, it won’t be a pleasant experience.” Death shifted his attention to the mortal who had dared to defy her. “I was passing by when I felt a surge of divine energy. Is there a reason that you were about to blast a raccoon?”

  Zephyra growled, her terror temporarily forgotten. “He is no mere raccoon.” She rounded on the obnoxious animal and glared with all of her might. “He is a foul creature. There is no doubt in my mind that he is plotting to destroy the world. He may even be in league with the Void Born.”

  “I see.” Clearly, Death did not see because she could practically feel how unimpressed he was by her words. She couldn’t see his face beneath his hood, but she had the feeling that he’d raised one eyebrow at her. “What proof do you have of his evil nature?”

  Zephyra pointed at the item clutched in the raccoon’s paws – the same item that had led to their epic battle. “He stole my apple!”

  “He stole your apple?” Death shook his head in disbelief, and his eyes shimmered, shifting through a thousand different colours. “You were going to blast him for that?”

  “It was my apple! It was grown in the orchards of the divine realm by one of the gods of farming. Look at how shiny it is! Look at how perfect its shape is! Just imagine how tasty it must be. And that… that villainous fiend stole it!”

  “Setting aside the fact that you could easily have used your divine powers to simply take the apple back without blasting him if you’d been thinking more clearly, I would like to point out that this is one of Life’s favourite forests in the mortal world. The attack you were preparing to use would have destroyed a reasonable chunk of it. I can assure you that she would not have been pleased.”

  “…” Zephyra hadn’t considered that – and now she felt like throwing up again. Life was another one of the Greater Gods, and she was Death’s opposite in many ways. As her name suggested, she was responsible for creating and bringing to life many of the living things that now filled the mortal world. “Oh.”

  “Yes. Oh. I thought I’d stop by and save you from doing something you might regret later.” Death paused and then reached down to ruffle her hair. Given his height – he had the appearance of a very tall man whereas she had the appearance of a teenage girl – it came across as a distinctly paternal gesture. “Your father is a good god, Zephyra, and I think you will be too one day. But let me give you a piece of advice. It is very, v
ery easy for us gods to bring death. Believe me, I know. Yet death, once given, cannot easily be taken back. You can always get another apple, Zephyra, but if you killed that raccoon, could you bring him back to life?”

  Zephyra looked away, shamefaced. She knew he was right. “But… he stole it.”

  “Yes, he did, and you would have been well within your rights to take it back and punish him. But do you really think that death is a fitting punishment for such a crime?” He held out one hand, and the raccoon crept forward to give him the apple. “Here,” he said, handing it back to her. Zephyra was amazed to see that the fruit didn’t wither despite being held in his gloved hand. “I have places to be and souls to claim, but remember what I said.”

  Zephyra watched as a vast, shadowy door opened beside Death. The god stepped into it, and the door swung shut behind him before vanishing into thin air. She stared into the space where the door had been. She’d been wrong about Death. He was truly powerful, but he was also truly kind and –

  She blinked. Her apple was gone. She looked at the raccoon. That damn creature had stolen it again! Her jaw clenched, and she gnashed her teeth. “I will heed Death’s words and spare you, foolish raccoon.” She snarled. “But from this day forth, you and all your kind shall be my sworn enemies!”

  * * *

  Zephyra was amazed to receive a summons to the divine realm from the Supreme Mother and Supreme Father. It was true that she was no stranger to the divine realm – like most gods, her father maintained an estate there – but nothing could compare to the beauty and majesty of the palace of the Supreme Mother and Supreme Father. It was a gleaming edifice of iridescent crystal whose very shape and geometry defied description.

  As an honour guard of spirits and minor gods escorted her to the throne room, she was hard pressed to keep from gawping at everything like a mortal peasant. She had never seen such splendour before. Everything was so beautiful, so indescribably elegant and perfect. What could she, a young goddess who had yet to receive any official duties, have done to merit the honour of an audience with the mightiest of the gods?

  At long last, she found herself in the throne room, kneeling before the Supreme Mother and Supreme Father. Although they concealed their true power, lest their sheer awesomeness destroy her, she could barely think in the presence of their overwhelming might. If her father’s power was a candle flame, then the Supreme Mother and Supreme Father were all the stars in the sky put together.

  “I am here, most honoured and exalted Supreme Mother and Supreme Father. I am ready and glad to serve you in any way I can.”

  The Supreme Mother and Supreme Father smiled. They wore the shapes of an old woman and an old man, but Zephyra wasn’t fooled. The radiance within them, the grandeur they embodied, would have been obvious to any god.

  “We believe that you are ready to take on your first official duties as a god,” the Supreme Father said. His voice seemed to come from every direction at once. It was somehow stern yet gentle at the same time. “As you know, each animal in Creation has a patron god to watch over their kind and advance their cause. We believe that you are ready to become such a god.”

  Zephyra barely managed to keep from squealing in delight. What animal would she get? Dragons? No. Someone was already the patron of those. What about griffins? Hmm… they were taken too. Never mind. Surely – surely – she would get a suitably incredible animal, one that would match her growing strength as a goddess.

  “Thank you, Supreme Mother and Supreme Father. I am beyond honoured by your trust in me. I humbly accept this honour, and I shall do my very best to be worthy of it.”

  “Indeed, we are confident that you shall.” The Supreme Mother’s lips twitched. “Bring forth the animal.” As footsteps echoed from behind Zephyra, the Supreme Mother continued. “This particular animal shall be the representative of his kind, blessed with immortality. So long as you live, so shall he. He shall speak on behalf of his kind to help you better care for them. Listen carefully to his words, young goddess, and you will do well.”

  Zephyra glanced to the side as Life stopped beside her. The Greater Goddess let the animal climb out of her arms and struggled to hold back her mirth. Zephyra’s jaw dropped as she laid eyes on the animal that would serve as her companion and advisor.

  It was that damn raccoon!

  “Rise,” the Supreme Mother commanded. “You are now Zephyra, patron goddess of raccoons!”

  * * *

  Zephyra fought the urge to scream as the raccoon on her shoulder sniffed her hair and nuzzled her cheek. The miscreant was even holding the apple he’d stolen from her. It had been weeks, but fruit from the divine orchards didn’t rot. He was taunting her with it. She knew he was. He was happy to let her see it, but he always scampered away whenever she tried to grab it.

  “What did I do to deserve this?”

  The raccoon didn’t bother to reply. Instead, he decided to rummage through her pockets. He was probably looking for something else to steal.

  * * *

  “That was cruel of you,” Death murmured as Life tended to the seeds that would one day give rise to another forest in the mortal world. He had come to her realm after watching Zephyra stumble out of the Supreme Mother and Supreme Father’s throne room in a daze with the raccoon clinging onto her back.

  “Perhaps this will teach her to be more considerate of my creatures.” Life chuckled and ran her fingers through the rich, damp soil. “Besides, he’s my favourite raccoon, and he really does like her. Stealing her apple was the only thing he could think of to get her attention. I think he finds her anger amusing.” Her lips curved up into a grin. “And he does have a knack for finding trouble. This should keep him safely out of harm’s way, at least for a while.”

  Young Death

  The Brotherhood of the Black Pass was made up of fifty-four bandits, and they were all thoroughly unpleasant and detestable. A particularly kind or gracious person might have described them as a group of financially challenged individuals who aimed to rectify their lack of funds through unconventional methods. In truth, they were a bunch of former soldiers who’d been expelled from the army due to their incredibly poor conduct. They had banded together and set up camp in a poorer part of the kingdom, not far from a pass that was frequented by travellers and merchants who were too poor to afford the tolls charged on safer roads. They made their living by robbing and often killing anyone unfortunate enough to make their acquaintance. Anyone they didn’t kill was usually sold to slavers or other businessmen of a highly unscrupulous nature.

  More than one unlucky traveller had called out to the gods to smite these wicked men and bring a pox upon their houses. Well, the bandits didn’t have houses to bring a pox upon, but they were due for a good smiting.

  Another day of the bad weather that often struck the Black Pass had forced the bandits to make camp beneath a gigantic tree. The tree had towered over the landscape like a wooden mountain for as long as anyone could remember. Most people would have thought twice about camping under a tree during a storm, but the bandits were hardly paragons of good decision-making. If they had been, they wouldn’t have turned to banditry. Besides, the tree was so large and had been around for so long that no one could imagine it falling down.

  Early the next morning, as the bandits slept, the tree fell.

  In what could only be described as an act of divine retribution, the tree successfully managed to kill every single one of the bandits. Of the fifty-four loathsome bandits, forty-four were crushed outright. A further five were partially mangled before succumbing to their injuries a few minutes later. The final five lasted roughly fifteen minutes before they too died, impaled on a host of the tree’s smaller branches.

  Needless to say, nobody in the region apart from a few slave traders and unscrupulous businessmen shed a tear when they found out. Indeed, the nearby villages would later mark the occasion with a number of cheerful festivals in which bandit-shaped dolls were filled with candy before being broken open b
y stick-wielding children. If the villagers had ever doubted the gods before – and they hadn’t – they certainly weren’t going to doubt them now. What were the odds of a single tree, even an incredibly large one, killing all of the bandits in one fell swoop? It couldn’t possibly be a coincidence. It had to be the work of the gods.

  As a matter of fact, the odds of the tree falling down and killing all of the bandits were precisely one in two hundred and twenty-five million. Death knew because he was the one who collected the souls of the dead, and he’d developed something of an interest in statistics. It was hard not to when mortals found such inventive ways to get themselves killed. The strangest incident this week had involved a drunken fool who’d attempted to wrestle a highly poisonous cactus while completely naked. The poor fellow had died cursing the gods for creating the cactus when he really should have been cursing his own stupidity. What kind of fool wrestled a cactus? And what kind of especially foolish fool wrestled a cactus naked?

  Admittedly, he wasn’t in Bureaucracy’s league when it came to crunching numbers, but he was no slouch either. To ensure that his calculations were correct – and because this was the first time a tree had ever crushed so many people at once – he’d asked Wisdom and Knowledge, the twin gods of scientists, scholars, researchers, inventors, and other people of a studious and intelligent nature, to check his numbers.

  He’d been spot on, and he’d also taken the opportunity to give the twins a present while he was in their realm since they were such hard workers. One of their more interesting inventions was something called a reflecting pool, which could show various locations throughout Creation. Knowing those two, they would use it to keep tabs on their more devoted followers, so they could offer support whenever their favoured mortals began to flag instead of waiting until they received a prayer for aid. However, Death was certain that some of the other gods – he was thinking very much of Ruin since the other god was currently trying and failing miserably to court a mortal woman – would use the reflecting pools to spy on people. Death, of course, didn’t need anyone’s help to spy on people. He was Death. His eyes could see anywhere in Creation.